Guest post by SusanKMann: The Guilt of a Working Mum

31 Jul

Hi, thank you to Sam for allowing me to guest post on her blog today. My name is Susan Mann and I normally blog over at SusanKMann.

Here is my post on feeling guilty being a working mother:-

Do you work? I have two boy’s ages, four and two and I work 4 days per week, 32 hours. I have worked since my first child was 6 months, then was off when I had my second for 9 months then went back just before my second child was 9 months. What about you?

Guilt

I was heartbroken going back after the birth of Lucas; I was in tears every day going to work, in tears in the toilet and couldn’t wait to get home. I was lucky people I trusted; my in laws two days and my mother were caring for him two days. However, it wasn’t I. I felt incredibly guilty and thought he wouldn’t know that I was his mother or have that bond that I had built up with him anymore. I was naive, of course, he knew I was his mother and of course, I’ve never lost that bond, but it did not stop me agonising over it, every single day.
I got pregnant with Tyler when Lucas must have been about 14 months but I didn’t find out for a few months. I was scared to have two and wasn’t sure how I’d cope but once I got over the initial shock, I was excited to be off work with Lucas again.

When I went back to work after having Tyler I was upset and yes I missed them both so much, but I don’t think it was as bad as Tyler was a little bit older than Lucas was and I knew they would still love their mummy when I got home.

However, I still feel guilty every day, even now. I worry I don’t spend enough time with them, that my parents and my husband’s parents can’t cope. I worry that they aren’t learning enough or are being let off with too much with it being grandparents who watch them. Nevertheless, what can I do, I cannot afford to be a stay at home mum. I’m not sure I could be a fully time stay at home mum.

Coping

The way I cope is by spending quality time with my babies when I get in from work, it’s not long; it’s less than an hour before they go to bed. However, I talk to them, play a game, then start to get them ready for bed, which always includes that bonding, and fun bedtime story.

At the weekends, we spend a lot of time as a family. I do however still have to clean the house, get shopping and do other chores but I try to include the boys. I try to get it done as quickly as possible so we can spend the rest of the day at the beach. Alternatively, having a picnic in the park. It doesn’t take the guilt away, but I hope I am getting the balance right.

Do you feel guilty about being a working mum? How do you cope?

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One Response to “Guest post by SusanKMann: The Guilt of a Working Mum”

  1. susankmann August 1, 2011 at 2:33 pm #

    Thank you for having me. You’re blog is great and so pretty x

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