I’ve had a very difficult conversation with my 5 year old daughter tonight. She has always known about her birth family- everything I tell her is the truth but it is age appropriate. She summarised all that she knows so far and then asked me a very difficult question about them.
I have always vowed to be honest with her – after all it is her story not mine. So. I was truthful with my answer. And I think I broke her heart a little 😦
Adoption is a really, really amazing thing! I’m so lucky. But with it comes the knowledge that your child has had a heartbreaking start. You can’t take that away from them and each time they learn something new about life before their forever family, their heart will get broken a little bit more.
For some children the hurt and abuse is so much that they won’t ever really recover or will find it difficult to form any kind of trusting relationship. Going to the park or to the shops might be too much for them to cope with. Being told off in public will reinforce their deep seated feelings of rejection and they will withdraw or behave so badly that any ‘normal’ form of discipline just doesn’t touch them.
But it’s these children who need forever families more than ever. Sadly the longer they have to wait the more ‘unadoptable’ they become. If you or anyone you know is thinking of adoption (or fostering) I’d urge you to look into it.
Hopefully this link will work. It’s a really good intro to the basics you have to face re adoption.
Thanks for taking the time to read